by Kirsty Logan
Steve has his own comic book store, a limitless supply of comic books, and all the time in the world to collect them. That should be enough. But eventually, everyone - even Steve - gets lonely. And when his time comes, he too has to learn that (eternal) life isn’t about what you spend it on - it’s about who you spend it with.
“Every time I read something by Kirsty, I think, ‘Damn her, I wish I’d written that.’ She is the kind of writer that you can’t help but read with teeth-crunching envy, broken-hearted admiration, and a realization that your own work is not half as good as you’d hoped it might be. Be forewarned writers and readers: you will never be the same.”
— Shanna Germain, finalist for the 2010 John Preston Short Fiction Award and nominee for the 2008 Pushcart Prize
IF I WAS A vampire,” says the Count, “I’d vampirise a different hot girl every day.”
“Night.” Steve doesn’t look up from the stack of comics he’s pricing.
“Night. If you were a vampire, you wouldn’t do anything in the day.”
Steve rifles through the pile and hands the Count a plastic-bagged comic: Vampira, issue 112.
“Yeah, big whoop.” The Count clomps down the aisle and puts Vampira on the rack between Vainglory and Varsity Hit Squad. “Real vampires aren’t like that, you know.”
“No?” says Steve, rearranging his stack. “No leather basques and red lipstick? Shame.”
“Don’t be an idiot. They don’t need lipstick. They have the blood of mortals to make their lips red.”
“That’s a good money saver.”
“God, Steve. You just don’t get it.” The Count turns, his heavy velvet cape knocking over a life-size cut-out of Xena Warrior Princess, and stomps into the back room. Steve takes the moment of peace to shelve the comics he’s priced. He squints down at the titles as he walks to the front of the shop.
Steve’s only problem with sunlight is its effect on the comics: it warps the cover and fades the colours, making the edges curl into spirals that get torn when careless customers shove the comics back onto the racks. Steve tries to keep the comics in plastic bags, but there’s always some annoying kid who wants to flip through all the pages. Sometimes Steve lets them unbag the comics; sometimes he doesn’t. It really depends on which side of lunch he’s on.
The door to the back room bangs open, and Steve jams a comic on the rack harder than he means to. He hears a tearing sound and sighs.
“What’s this? Can I have some?” The Count is holding up a see-through travel mug full of viscous red liquid.
“It’s ...” Steve thinks quickly. “It’s prune juice. Go ahead, help yourself.”
“Ew. God. Gross.” The Count holds the travel mug at arm’s length and disappears into the back room, his cloak billowing.
IT’S BARELY LUNCHTIME AND already the Count is pissing Steve off.
“I’m on a break!” he shouts through the back-room door.
Steve lifts his travel mug and sips from it, letting the liquid heat on his tongue. Then—
Muttering obscenities, Steve puts his travel mug next to the kettle and walks onto the shop floor.
The Count is standing behind the counter, arms akimbo and cape thrown over one shoulder. In front of the counter stands a boy: tall, sandy haired, with a swollen red spot on the side of his nose. Steve ducks behind the counter, trying not to stare at the spot. The Count is already mid-flow.
“... and I told him that we don’t take Superman, but he insists that this one is special, but I’ve never seen it, and I don’t think ...”
Steve rifles through the stack of comics on the counter. Some newish superheroes, some noir crime stuff, some cutesy anime: not Steve’s taste, but it might sell.
“Tenner for the lot,” says Steve to the Spot.
“But, Steeeve!” The Count flips his cloak around to the other shoulder, knocking over a pile of invoices. “He’s got Superman and you said never to take Superman and ...”
Steve smiles apologetically at the Spot, then turns to the Count. He pretends to listen for a few seconds, nodding and smiling. The Count is infuriating, but he does know more about Golden Age comics than even Steve does. Steve turns back to the Spot, pushes a £10 note into his sweaty fist, and hands the stack of comics and a pricing gun to the Count, who is still talking.
“ ... take Superman every time now or just when you specifically say or ...”
Steve walks through to the back room, closing the door on the Count.
It takes five gulps from the travel mug before the rage subsides.
about the author
KIRSTY LOGAN is a fiction writer, literary magazine editor, and book reviewer. Her fiction and poetry has been published in over 80 anthologies and literary magazines, and broadcast on BBC Radio 4. She is the author of two story collections, A Portable Shelter and The Rental Heart & Other Fairytales (winner of the 2013 Scott Prize for Short Stories), and a novel, The Gracekeepers. She lives in Glasgow, and has a semicolon tattooed on her toe. Say hello at kirstylogan.com.
by this author
The Psychology of Animals Swallowed Alive:
by Kirsty Logan
Embark upon these twenty short, scrumptious flights of fancy from the unmistakable pen of Scott Prize-winning author Kirsty Logan, and you will be astounded, titillated, disturbed, amused, heartbroken, and above all, astonished.
“Logan crafts an exquisitely wrought diorama full of tenderly compelling characters; observations about grief, worship, social order, and human nature, and a love that transcends definition.”
– NPR on Logan's debut novel The Gracekeepers
by Kirsty Logan
The anarchic relationships holding together a group of teen girls - whose lines between love and hate, jealousy and loyalty, are not so much drawn as they are furiously scribbled - are put to the test at an unforgettable birthday party. This story captures all the angst and uncertainty of adolescence, with prose as sharp and jarring as a smashed kaleidoscope.
“Rarely an author comes along whose work hits you with the impact of a slap. I have had this experience with the work of Jayne Anne Phillips, with Lorrie Moore and Mary Gaitskill; most recently I have felt this on discovering the writing of Kirsty Logan. Her work is elegant, minimal, and innovative, but underlying it all is a great passion. If the world is a place where talent is recognised—in time, I believe, we may come to say her name alongside the aforementioned.”
— Ewan Morrison, author of Swung
Romance is candlelight on cheekbones, blurring gazes and the press of heels on strange sheets. But what happens a year later? You’re sharing bath towels and bickering over who forgot to buy a light bulb. There is beauty in a familiar hand on the nape of your neck. There is love in waking up under a shared blanket. This story is about the romance of domesticity.
“Kirsty is one of the best and brightest . . . when I read her stuff I feel like I could taste it, chew it, roll it around on my tongue, the language is so delicious and sturdy and musical. She also has a knack for getting relationships exactly right in her writing, whether between parent and child or lovers or friends.”
— Amber Sparks, Fiction Editor at Emprise Review
from the library
In a suburb that is nowhere and everywhere, Jorgen deals with the feelings of alienation and frustration from his collapsing relationship by getting into his car, putting on Patti Smith, and searching for meaning and belonging anywhere he can — regardless of whether he is welcome or wanted.
The Last Judgment
by Maria Meindl
Charlotte is on the cusp of adolescence, and her world is being turned upside down. Unable to turn to her distant mother or absent father, she searches for guidance on the streets of downtown Toronto—and discovers God (or some version of Him) in the gutter.
“The Last Judgment is a story that penetrates into the heart of childhood sadness. Charlotte is without tools to fix what is broken, except for the incredible force of her will. The connections she makes between religion, parental failure, sexuality, and love make perfect sense because they are told in her bell-clear voice. This story is warm and tragic and, at moments, grimly funny.”
— Rebecca Rosenblum, author of Once and Road Trips
by Naomi K Lewis
As a boy, Timmy (Sir Timothy Brian F. the Fantabulous) tells tall, tragic tales to get attention from the adults in his life - particular his busy mother and Dr. Bass, his nerdy-cool neighbour. As a young man, his escalating lies destroy his relationships, alienate his loved ones, and land him in hot water with police; but that doesn’t stop him from crying wolf again and again.
Portraits of people marooned within themselves, trapped by their past experiences, by uncertainty and anxiety — individuals for whom each new situation is a grueling journey towards the present, a place where action and choice are possible. In Second World, Matt Cahill illustrates, with honesty and empathy, how the most important breakthroughs are not the life-altering revelations, but rather the minor miracles that get us through each day.
by Caroline Adderson
Coming out of an unhappy relationship and a stint at an artist colony, Charlotte, a writer, takes a job teaching at a private ESL college. There she befriends Renata—audacious, sexy, and as changeable as Proteus. “I have a story for you,” Renata says to her one day over lunch. She doesn’t elaborate further, but Charlotte soon discovers that she has found in Renata an unexpectedly passionate and compelling subject.
“Caroline Adderson is such a graceful and intelligent writer that the work that must surely go into creating her hilarious, prismatic stories is never betrayed in the language. There is no strain on the page, not a bead of sweat. I think of her as a writer’s writer. I envy her talent and learn from her sentences. The short story, Obscure Objects, is, I’m happy to report, Adderson at her glorious best.”
— Barbara Gowdy, author of Helpless and The White Bone
“Obscure Objects, Caroline Adderson’s fierce and affecting workplace comedy, is a deadpan gem: droll, moving, snapping-smart.”
— Meg Wolitzer, author of The Uncoupling, The Ten-Year Nap, and The Position
A hybrid travelogue and memoir that pieces together the fragmented recollections of one woman’s rocky journey toward vegetarianism. From her rural upbringing in francophone Northeastern Ontario to exotic locations, outlandish adventures, and bizarre meals, Julie relives her struggle to make the right food choices for herself and examines the consequences of her decisions.
In the late 60s, the newest member of a group of all-female pearl divers — the ama — sees her life, and the lives of those dear to her, disrupted by an unlikely force: a James Bond film that sends American men to Japan in search of their own personal 'mermaids'.